Soul Sister Auto

I’m taking a “posting break”!  Every Wednesday for the next few weeks, I am posting past posts from my blog when I was at Blogspot!  This one is from 2009!  Enjoy!

I took the picture of this car while we were on vacation in California last summer…..because it “spoke to me” (not literally spoke to me…..like “hey! Come over here and take my picture”).

This morning, I gave my child ice cream for breakfast because I figured it has milk and protein so that must count for something…..and there wasn’t anything else that caught my eye for breakfast.

When I dropped my child off for her golf lesson, I felt something sticky on my face and realized the sunglasses I grabbed on my way out the door had honey on them and now it’s on my face……why do my sunglasses have honey on them?

This car is my soul sister – I can relate to this car and totally understand how all of the sudden this car must wake up in the morning and think “How has it come to this? How is it that I am held together by duct tape?”

……..and I’ll bet there is honey smeared on the backseat somewhere….. and peanut butter.

By Eleanore Macnish

I’m not comfortable with that.

I met some friends for dinner and a book signing last night. At dinner, a friend recounted a recent conversation she had had with someone who was round aboutly (and absolutely) slighting a group of people.

She talked about the moment she could tell it was going in the wrong direction and how helpless she felt to stop it (she DID stop it, but not quite as gracefully as she wished).

Everyone at the table commiserated and spoke of how they wished they had simple words to quickly end conversational train wrecks about to happen, “without being rude”.

As we were sitting there, one woman spoke up and said “That reminds me of something I read about situations like that.”

– to say “Exactly what do you mean by that?”

And it reminded me of a friend (Laurie) from whom I learned a valuable lesson a few months ago when I heard her say “I’m not comfortable with that,” in a completely adult and fairly innocuous way – whatever it was, she just did not want to do it – and made it crystal clear in a very graceful way; a way that put no one on the defensive…she just did not want to do it…..(as I recall, it was about a guest list and excluding someone).

Both phrases convey strength, calm, self confidence and “You might want to drop where you’re headed with this right now & and I have now removed myself from this conversation.”

When I think back on all the jams, embarrassment, dangerous situations and self doubt that could have been averted in my life from age 14 – 28 (I got better at standing up for my self around 29) , had I only uttered one of these beautiful, straight forward and strong sentences…..at the moment my gut told me something was amiss!

Commit these to memory and teach your daughters:

  • I’m not comfortable with that.
  • What exactly do you mean by that?

(I’m not thinking sons so much because guys have their own ways of dealing with these things – and they don’t care about being rude – they just deal with it and move on….I envy them.)

A teenager who was with us for dinner piped up and said “When I’m with my friends at school and they start talking about someone, I just say “I don’t want to talk about this,” and I walk away.”   That girl is good stuff! I wish I could look at a bunch of women and say “I don’t want to talk about this” and walk away…..now that I think about it, I guess I can….and perhaps I will!

Is it just me? Looking back on your teenage years (and beyond), could these two sentences have helped you out of some situations forcefully and/or gracefully? Any other favorite phrases I should know about?….so I can add them to my arsenal!

Manifesto of an 8 year old: “Why I Should Have My Ears Peirst”

This just pulls at my heart strings….

Ooooh the earnestness of youth!  I just love that my daughter does this!  She has only done it twice but each time she has delivered one of these notes, my heart just melts. She does NOT understand why sanctions are imposed on her and she does her best to make a persuasive argument….as only an 8 year old can.  Above is her first Manifesto…..(her second was regarding why she should be allowed to have and play the X-Box game “Assassins Creed”…..but that is a different story.)

Perhaps the reason this so “gets” to me is her persistence (after many conversations about why she could not have pierced ears until she was 12) and the heart-felt earnestness.

I finally caved when she was nine.  We were at Anthropologie when two separate women came up to me, in the space of about 5 minutes, and said “I think your son is looking for you”, as my daughter was calling “Maaaama?!? Maaaaaaaama! Can you hear me?” while walking through the store (I was standing by the sale rack and responding “I’m right here, just follow my voice”….really really softly…kidding – I said it loudly enough for her to hear).

I thought “Really!??  You mean my “son” who is wearing pink sweatpants and a shirt with daisies printed all over it…..who has a Pixie Cut?”  There was just something about the whole experience that irked me…..we got in the car and she said “Where are we going next?” ….and I said “To the mall to get your ears pierced (peirst)!”

I look back on that time and remember thinking: “Yes, I am giving in — will she remember this and learn from it and exploit my emotions in the future? Does getting her ears pierced at nine instead of 12 really matter in the grand scheme of things?  Will it lead to drinking or other self destructive behaviors at an early age? Will she think me weak?  If she does realize my weakness, will she organize elaborate “flash mob” situations without me even knowing, as a teenager to convince me I should extend her curfew?…..just because I let her get her ears pierced at age nine?” – Probably not.

Amazingly enough, no harm done!…..with the exception of having permanent holes in her body!


……..and then I thought, “you know what? I’ll bet this doesn’t really matter…..except it matters a lot to her.”        

UPDATE:  She is now 10, and is feeling “pretty good”, and is trying her best to navigate the “pre-tween”  waters!

Hopefully, she did not hire those women to approach me……….

If anything pops into your mind of stuff that may be coming my way in this regard….please comment with how you handled it – so I can be prepared! Thanks!!

Update: This blog was featured on Daily Buzz Moms – Raising Daughters. Check out other fun blog posts about raising daughters!

By Eleanore Macnish