Ooooh the earnestness of youth! I just love that my daughter does this! She has only done it twice but each time she has delivered one of these notes, my heart just melts. She does NOT understand why sanctions are imposed on her and she does her best to make a persuasive argument….as only an 8 year old can. Above is her first Manifesto…..(her second was regarding why she should be allowed to have and play the X-Box game “Assassins Creed”…..but that is a different story.)
Perhaps the reason this so “gets” to me is her persistence (after many conversations about why she could not have pierced ears until she was 12) and the heart-felt earnestness.
I finally caved when she was nine. We were at Anthropologie when two separate women came up to me, in the space of about 5 minutes, and said “I think your son is looking for you”, as my daughter was calling “Maaaama?!? Maaaaaaaama! Can you hear me?” while walking through the store (I was standing by the sale rack and responding “I’m right here, just follow my voice”….really really softly…kidding – I said it loudly enough for her to hear).
I thought “Really!?? You mean my “son” who is wearing pink sweatpants and a shirt with daisies printed all over it…..who has a Pixie Cut?” There was just something about the whole experience that irked me…..we got in the car and she said “Where are we going next?” ….and I said “To the mall to get your ears pierced (peirst)!”
I look back on that time and remember thinking: “Yes, I am giving in — will she remember this and learn from it and exploit my emotions in the future? Does getting her ears pierced at nine instead of 12 really matter in the grand scheme of things? Will it lead to drinking or other self destructive behaviors at an early age? Will she think me weak? If she does realize my weakness, will she organize elaborate “flash mob” situations without me even knowing, as a teenager to convince me I should extend her curfew?…..just because I let her get her ears pierced at age nine?” – Probably not.
……..and then I thought, “you know what? I’ll bet this doesn’t really matter…..except it matters a lot to her.”
UPDATE: She is now 10, and is feeling “pretty good”, and is trying her best to navigate the “pre-tween” waters!
Hopefully, she did not hire those women to approach me……….
If anything pops into your mind of stuff that may be coming my way in this regard….please comment with how you handled it – so I can be prepared! Thanks!!
Update: This blog was featured on Daily Buzz Moms – Raising Daughters. Check out other fun blog posts about raising daughters!
By Eleanore Macnish
LOVE this story and can just see her writing her “closing arguments”! You are such a great mom and have such a gift for setting the scene in your blog– great writing, my friend! AND– as the mom of adult girls– you did the right thing! Good for you!
That means so much to me, because in my eyes, YOU are the the ultimate mom! Truly! Love you more than you know, El
Adorable! Make sure to save the letter so she can look at it when she is older. I just found a couple letters that my mom saved from when I was 8. I am so happy she did!
Thanks Sarah! Yes, I have saved it and am so glad I did – and that I took a photograph of it because I have no idea where I “saved” it! :0)
That is funny!